Saturday, March 24, 2007

The Week That Was - New Joy, New Stress

My word for the week: argh.

My phrase for the week: "yeah, I know, right?"

I have felt absolutely amazing -- all-powerful, even -- and then absolutely crushed. Then better, then worse. Now, I am just slightly numb from the anxiety, stress, and pressure.

We were given a deadline and, if we meet it, everything's great. If we miss it, we have to kill the project and we've all been working on it for a long time. It's basically up to me to save it, if I can. Our guy got a little flaky and I either need to convince him to do what he committed to do, or I need to find someone else to do it. In 5 days. (This is actually day 2.) (Ack!) It's a hard sell only because it's so last minute. It makes everyone nervous.

Still, when we talk about the project, everyone is incredibly supportive . . .

It's about 50-50 that we'll prevail. Maybe higher. It's late, and my meeting for today was pushed after I sent the narrative, so I am more nervous than I should be. (The two things are most likely not related.)

The good news is that I think my business partnership is far stronger than I would have imagined. We have enjoyed at least having each other to turn to amidst the joy and stress. I have become unguarded, which is slightly unsettling. I usually keep my own counsel and suffer far more alone while only I know all the turmoil.

(A has been dynamite through the whole thing. He's so much more supportive than he thinks he is.)

We committed to moving forward, even if this project fails. Honestly, that had always been part of the plan. We're shockingly still on plan, though it feels a bit like the walls are shaking and the ceiling is dropping plaster all around us. I suppose it feels that way because we don't like plan B, though we know it's for the best. We can't quite convince anyone else that it's for the best, but we know it's what we have to do because it is the right thing. Neither of us could live with a DJ situation.

By this time next week, it will be a whole new world. For better or worse . . .

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